I feel that this is a great time to write about this subject. I feel that there are too many negative stigmas being thrown around in regards to Robin William’s death. I’d like to say that his passing has gotten me to ponder on some very important aspects of my own life and my own depression.
Living with Depression is no easy feat. I personally don’t wake up everyday hearing birds sing and breath in the scent of morning dew, etc. Every morning seems to be different for me. Some mornings I am happy to wake up and see the sun peaking through the clouds, some mornings I lay in my bed with my eyes closed contemplating why I am still breathing, and some mornings I am fixated on the long list of “to-dos” that I have to get done.
A person with depression is not a coward, they are not weak, or selfish. I am neither of those things, I am strong, beautiful, resilient, and I am a fighter. Everyday is a conscious choice to either be PRESENT or DISTANT. Some days are easier and some are harder. Depression has been a part of my life from the time that I was a very little girl.
I am lucky to say that there were small amounts of times in my life that I have lived without depression. I am thankful everyday for my sons because fulfilling their needs surpassed my depression needs. I will be the first to admit that I should have sought out help, but at the time I was in an abusive relations (yes, that added to the depression).
In late 2008 I told my mom that I was ready to check-out of this world. I was done! I was tired of being hit, I was physically ill, I was beyond done faking my happiness. I am not big on religion, but my mom prayed for me and got me to pray for myself. After a few months doors were being opened and changes were being made.
So, here I am now 6 years later. I STILL live with depression, but I have better skills of taking care of myself. I am in a healthy relationship, and I do have HELP. Thank you MOM.
If you know of some one who is suffering with depression please take the time to show them you care. HUG them if they allow it. Smile at them, say “good morning”, or just make your presence known. Offer to go and get coffee with them, or share a new song that you heard on the radio. Finally if you are reading this and are living with depression I want to tell you personally that, YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Here are some helpful links: